King’s son, Ian Alexander Jr., died by suicide in 2022, while Bertinelli lost her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen following a lengthy battle with cancer in 2020.

Regina King and Valerie Bertinelli reflect on grief after loss of loved ones: ‘Sadness is not a bad thing’

King's son, Ian Alexander Jr., died by suicide in 2022, while Bertinelli lost her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen following a lengthy battle with cancer in 2020.

By Emlyn Travis

Emlyn Travis is a news writer at **. She has been working at EW since 2022. Her work has previously appeared on MTV News, Teen Vogue, and *NME*.

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December 22, 2025 5:04 p.m. ET

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Valerie Bertinelli and Regina King. Credit:

The Drew Barrymore Show

Regina King and Valerie Bertinelli are speaking openly about their experiences with grief. **

The pair sat down on Monday’s episode of *The Drew Barrymore Show* to discuss King’s latest projects including her new wine label MianU, which is named after her late son Ian Alexander Jr., who died by suicide in 2022. **

“One of the most beautiful things about Ian is he loved to discover and then introduce you to what he discovered,” King explained. “Ian’s an artist — and I always speak about him in the present, because he’s still here — and so it is celebrating all of that brilliance, the creativity, the power of connection, the energy that he brings into the room every time he’s there and, for me, it is very important that Ian’s name is always continued to be said.”

Valerie Bertinelli and Regina King on 'The Drew Barrymore Show'.

The Drew Barrymore Show

Bertinelli acknowledged that one of the things she and King share in common is that they both “deal with grief” in their everyday lives. The *One Day at a Time* actress lost Eddie Van Halen, her ex-husband and the father of her son Wolfgang Van Halen, after a lengthy battle with cancer in 2020. **

“I know that I get to celebrate my son and watch him onstage, but there’s a big hole there as I want to be next to his dad,” Bertinelli said as King nodded. “And I want to be celebrating it with him, but I can’t. So you feel that grief, but you still feel the celebration.”

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When asked how she balances the diametrically opposed feelings, King responded, “I think I’ve come to realize and accept that so many things that we say have to be black or white, we’re usually always in the gray. Happiness and sadness are happening for me all the time, at the same time, every single moment.” **

She continued, “So it’s leaning into the grief. Sadness is not a bad thing, but a thing that exists. It’s love.”**

Bertinelli then referenced a quote — “grief is love with no place to go” – that King gleaned from a card that was given to her mom. **

“That has been the shortest bite-size quote that really encapsulates everything that I feel,” she said, before acknowledging that it’s a feeling that “every human being” will experience throughout their lifetimes.

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Bertinelli praised King’s decision to really sit with grief and “make it a part of your life,” noting that “we don’t have a choice” otherwise.

“I’m so glad that you just said — we don’t have a choice — you know, when I first started to speak publicly after,” King began.

To which Bertinelli responded, “How was that?”

“Really, really hard,” King confessed. “And at that time, the truth for me was that Ian had a choice. It was his choice.”

The Drew Barrymore Show

However, as time has gone by, King added that “I’ve come to realize that was not really the right way to frame where Ian was in his depression. He didn’t have a choice, you know?”**

Bertinelli understood, noting that depression “can grab a hold of someone” even if they “don’t want to be depressed.” **

The Drew Crew member went on to emphasize the importance of King’s work. “I need you to know what you’re doing in talking about grief and talking about loss is incredibly important to people who feel that and feel they don’t have a voice and feel so alone in it,” she said. “I want you to know you’re giving a beautiful gift to people, as hard as it is for you.”**

Both Bertinelli and King have spoken out about how they carry the memory of their loved ones in the wake of their loss. For King, it comes whenever she drinks MianU. **

"Every time a cork opens, or every time I'm pouring a glass, I'm thinking of Ian," King told *Haute Living* in August. "I'm thinking of him 24/7 anyway, but always in this moment, I can see his face. And for people who never got the chance to dance with Ian, maybe they'll be curious. Maybe they'll ask. His name is right there, in the middle of it all. He'll never be forgotten… If you see me, you see Ian."**

And, in an October episode of* The Drew Barrymore Show*, Bertinelli explained that she still has “deep love” for Van Halen “even though he’s not here” anymore. **

“It's not a romantic love — I know people get that all confused when I say soulmates and everything,” she said. “It wasn't romantic love any longer, it was just a deep love for a soul that I adored. And he was a good man."

*The Drew Barrymore Show* airs weekdays on CBS.

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